What snake venom does to blood

on Jul, 17 2012

What snake venom does to blood


Cybernetic Implants

Roger sits down at the counter of his local bar. "Bartender," he says, "give me the bottle of your strongest whiskey."
The bartender laughs, "Sure thing, pal, $150."

He hands Roger the bottle, who instantly begins guzzling it down.

"My God!" said the bartender, "I've never seen anyone drink whisky that fast!"

"Well," said Roger, "I'm actually part of a new medical experiment, you see I have a series of cybernetic implants designed to allow me to handle any amount of alcohol very quickly."

"Is that so?" said the bartender.

"Yes," said Roger, suddenly there is a loud buzzing from his chest.

"That's my metal stomach, codenamed old clanker, adding it to my bloodstream." Another low humming now. "That's my cyborg liver, codenamed old trusty, processing the whiskey." A high pitched whistle came from Roger's lower torso. "That is my titanium kidney, codenamed old bean."

Suddenly, a man in a mask with a gun bursts through the door.

"Alright, this is a robbery," he shouts, pointing his gun at the bartender, "all the money, NOW!" Everyone in the bar is terrified, with the exception of Roger, who turns to face the robber on his stool. All of a sudden, a deep rumbling shakes the bar. Roger's fly bursts open and a yellow geyser rushes forth, throws the robber out the door, across the street, and into a brick wall.

The bartender shouts, awestuck, "What the hell was that?"

Roger smiles, "That was the last implant I got, codenamed old faithful."