15. While watching "Star Trek - The Next Generation", they always scream, "Wrong! Wrong again!!"
14. No amount of arguing will stop them from voting Republican.
13. Mom has finally kicked her oxygen habit, but Dad still guzzles Prestone like it was Gatorade.
12. Your mom once moistened an envelope with her tongue and sealed it...after you had dropped it in the mail box.
11. Two words: Sansabelt slacks
10. Your first clue? They named you Jon Benet and you don't live in France.
9. Them: three-toed marsupials with pouches. You: love eucalyptus leaves and talk with funny accent.
8. They freak every time a Sigourney Weaver movie comes on.
7. Billy's parents -- the paddle. Timmy's parents -- the belt. Your folks -- the probe.
6. They claim they brought you from France, yet no one in the family is surly.
5. Your navel is threaded.
4. You've escaped countless punishments by distracting them with the sound of the can opener.
3. Your backyard satellite dish is larger than your neighbor's, by about 700 feet.
2. Your chore list includes the item, "polish coffins."
1. In addition to milk, breast feeding menu includes hors d'oeuvres, salad, and an entree.