Did you know Chocolate is a Vegetable?

on Aug, 07 2011 4811 views
  • Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.

  • To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy product. So candy bars are a health food.

  • Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit; so eat as many as you want.

  • If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

  • Problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

  • Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.

  • If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. (We're testing this with other snack foods as well.)

  • If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

  • Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.

  • Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

  • A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?

  • If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

  • If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?

NEWS FLASH: "Stressed" spelled backward is "desserts." So, to reverse being "stressed" . . . CHOCOLATE!!!



Yo momma is so whatever

Editor's Note: We get so many yo momma jokes that I decided to group them. Keep checking back, this is likely to grow. And some of these might get their own category some day.----when yo momma was born her ma said ""wow! what a treasure!"" and yo dad said ""ya lets bury it!""yo momma is so skinny she swallowed a marble and looked 6 months preganantyo momma is so special she could be in the special olympicsyo momma's so small she committed suicide by jumping of the curb!yo moma so short that she plays hide-and-seek in the grassyo moma so small i told her to do something creative with her life and she climbed over a speed bump.Yo mamma is so cross-eyed that she sits in the front porch to watch the kids play in the backyard.