Deadly facts about Pickles!

on Dec, 12 2010 10441 views

AP Stats listserve archives dated: Sun, 26 Aug 2001
Subject: Re: Pickles Will Kill You
Every pickle you eat brings you closer to death. Amazingly, the "thinking man" has failed to grasp the terrifying significance of the term, "in a pickle." Pickles are associated with all the major diseases of the body. Eating them breeds wars and communism. They can be related to most airline tragedies. Auto accidents are caused by pickles. There exists a positive relationship between crime waves and consumption of this fruit of the curcurbit family. For example:

Nearly all sick people have eaten pickles. The effects are obviously cumulative.

99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten pickles.

100% of all soldiers have eaten pickles.

96.8% of all communist sympathizers have eaten pickles.

99.7% of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate pickles within 14 days preceding the accident.

93.1% of juvenile deliquents come from homes where pickles are served.

Evidence points to long term effects of eating pickles:

Of the people born in 1839 who later dined on pickles, there has been a mortality rate of 100%.

All pickle eaters born between 1908 and 1918 have wrinkled skin, have lost most of their teeth, have brittle bones, and failing eyesight--if the ills of eating pickles have not already caused their death.

Even more convincing is the report of a noted team of medical specialists:
rats force-fed with 20 pounds of pickles per day for 30 days developed bulging abdomens. Their appetites for wholesome food were destroyed.

In spite of all the evidence, pickles growers and packers continue to spread their evil. More than 120,000 acres of fertile US soil are devoted to growing pickles. Our per capita consumption is 4 pounds.

Eat orchid petal soup. Practically no one has as many problems from eating orchid petal soup as they do from eating pickles.

Would you like to see some interesting and True Facts about the Human Body?

Comments

My Little Leprechaun

Johnny who didn't like use the school's bathroom so he went
behind the school in the bushes. One day a couple of his friends
were coming near him so Johnny quickly wiped his butt with his
hands. His friends asked, "What's in your hand Johnny?" "My
little leprechaun." "No, seriously what's in your hand Johnny?"
"My little leprechaun." Then his friends got mad and said, "If
you don't tell us what's in your hand then we'll tell the
teacher." He replied, "My little leprechaun." So he was sent to
his teacher

His teacher asked him the same question, "What's in your hand
Johnny?" But all he said, "My little leprechaun." So she got mad
with him and took him straight down to the principal's office.

The principal asked him, "So, Johnny, What's in your hand?" "My
little leprechaun." "Johnny, please tell us what's in your
hand." "My little leprechaun." "Johnny, if you don't tell me
what's in your hand then I'm going to spank you!" Johnny replied
with a simple, "My little leprechaun." So the principal spanked
him and shit went flying every where. Johnny said to the
principal, "Look what you did! You scared the shit out of my
little leprechaun!"

Feedback