A gentleman and his wife are speeding down the highway when a state trooper pulls them over. "I'm sorry, sir, but I clocked you speeding at 75 mph. I'll have to give you a ticket."
"No way, officer," says the guy, "I was watching my speedometer closely, and I never exceeded 55 mph."
"Oh, honey," says the wife, "you were going 75, I saw the speedometer."
"Be quiet, woman," he responds.
"Also," continued the trooper, "I'll have to give you a ticket for not wearing your seat belt."
"But, officer," he responded, "I ALWAYS wear my seat belt. I just took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license and insurance card from the glove compartment."
"Oh, honey," his wife continued, "you never wear your seat belt, and you weren't wearing it today, either."
"Shut-up!" he yelled.
"Excuse me, ma'am," said the trooper, "But does he always talk to you this way?"
"No, sir -- only when he's drunk."