15> Abstinence: Give Yourself a Hand!
14> I say zip it -- zip it good!
13> Just because it's the most pleasurable sensation you'll ever feel in your lifetime doesn't mean you should rush right out and experience it.
12> Hey, do you want Ken Starr all over your ass?!
11> Wham, Bam, Thank You Hand!
10> Just Say Whoa
9> Join the celibate Top 5 Contributors!
8> The Pope does it -- now *you* can, too!
7> Abstinence: It's not just for quarrels anymore!
6> Leave It Near Beaver
5> Don't think of it as less sex -- think of it as more time to watch "Babylon 5" reruns.
4> You've come a long way, Baby -- for nothing!
3> Abstinence: No f**kin' way!
2> Spend a little time away from the orifice.
1> "Hello, this is President Clinton with an important message for young people..."
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[ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ]