A guy's getting married on Saturday. Friday night, his friends take him out, get him waylaid, bylaid, rolaid, mislaid, up, down, up, bing, bang, boom, forget it, his pecker is a mangled mess, he doesn't know what to do.
He takes two popsicle sticks, puts them along side his dick, and wraps it with adhesive tape. The next day he gets married.
Here they are in their honeymoon suite...she walks out stark naked... She says, "Look, honey. Untouched by human hands."
He's gotta think quick... He pulls down his pants and says, "Look! Hah! Not even out of the crate."