Jokes from 11 Year Old's Science Exams

on Aug, 28 2011 4476 views

THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL QUOTES FROM 11 YEAR OLDS' SCIENCE EXAMS:

* "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

* "Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull."

* "When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."

* "H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."

* "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars."

* "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."

* "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."

* "The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o and u."

* "Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot."

* "Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."

* "For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make Artificial Perspiration."

* "For Fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor."

* "The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."

* "The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."

* "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."

* "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

* "To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."

* "To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow."

Comments

Way to have FUN while shopping!

Have some fun on your next shopping trip, try these...

Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like, "Pick Me!! Pick Me!!"

Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme to "Mission Impossible".

When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO, NO! It's those voices again!"

Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

Look right into the security cameras, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

Set up a tent in the Camping Department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bed and Bath aisle.

Re-dress mannequins as you see fit.

Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares."

Make a trail of orange juice on the ground leading to the restrooms.

Try bras on over your clothes. (works very well if you're a man)

Run up to an employee, (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and yell at him, "I need tampons!"

Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they are not looking.

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