A guy walks into a bar holding a turtle.
The turtle has two bandaged legs,a black eye and his shell is held together with duct tape.
The bartender asks, "What's wrong with your turtle?"
"Nothing," the man responds. "This turtle is very fast.
Have your dog stand at the end of the bar. Then you go stand at the other end of the room and call him.
Before that mutt reaches you, my turtle will be there."
So the bartender, wanting to see this, sets his dog at one side of the room. Then he goes to the other side and calls him.
Suddenly, the guy picks up his bandaged turtle and throws it across the room, narrowly missing the bartender and smashing it into the wall.
"Told you it would be there before your dog."
Submited by ???rt??
Edited by Tantilazing