A ventriloquist walks into a small Australian town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog and figures he'll have a little fun. Ventriloquist: 'G'day mate. Good looking dog... mind if l speak to him?'Local: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid man.' Ventriloquist: 'Hey dog, how's it going old mate?' Dog: 'Doin' all right.' Local: (Look of extreme shock) Ventriloquist (pointing at local): 'Is this man your owner?' Dog: 'Yep.' Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?' Dog: 'Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and lakes me to the river once a week to play.' Local: (Look of utter disbelief) Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?' Local: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either... I think.' Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?' Horse: 'Cool.' Local: (Absolutely dumbfounded) Ventriloquist (pointing at local): 'Is this your owner?' Horse: 'Yep.' Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?' Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.' Local: (Total look of amazement) Ventriloquist: ?Mind if l talk to your sheep?' Local: 'The sheep's a bloody liar!'