Fox News in a nutshell

on Jun, 26 2012

Fox News in a nutshell


Problems With The Wife

Here are a few problems and solutions you may encounter with
your wife.

Problem: Your wife wants more foreplay during sex, and you
arent really the man for the job.

Solution: Show up with 2 other girls in the bedroom and tell
her you didnt understand her, you thought she meant "four-play."

Problem: Shes always buying too many damn pairs of shoes.

Solution: On her birthday, paint a few of her existing shoes a
different color and wrap them up, that might keep your bank
account at more that 2 digits.

Problem: Shes always drooling over some good-looking
celebrity like Brad Pitt, and she indirectly tells you that you
should be more like him.

Solution: Casually mention to her that Pamela Anderson Lee
looks so great with her breast implants, your wife probably will
never have tits as suculant as that, and it should shut her up
for a while.

Problem: Shes into torture sex (whips, phone cord, handcuffs)
but its not what you think, she wants to torture YOU.

Solution: Check out as many Harry Houdini books at the library
as possible.

Problem: During the night, without noticing it, your wife
takes more than her share of the blanket, and you're always
feeling like a damn eskimo in the middle of the night, freezing
your ass off.

Solution: Slowly and carefully place the bathroom rug on top
of her while shes asleep. Then with your greatest stealth, pull
all of the blanket on your side for a good nights sleep.