Golfer: "I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to go
drown myself in that lake."
Caddy: "I don't think you could keep your head down that long."
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on
Caddy: "Try heaven," advised the caddie. "You've already moved
most of the earth."
Golfer: "This is the worst golf course I've ever played on!"
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course, sir! We left that an hour ago"
Golfer: "Well Caddy, How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good, Sir! But personally I prefer Golf."
Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before!
Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, Sir."
Golfer: "Caddy, Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Oh yes, Sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time, caddy. It's
Caddy: "This isn't a watch, Sir, its a compass!"
Golfer: "Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, Sir, its a sin any day of the week!"
Golfer: "This golf is a funny game."
Caddy: "It's not supposed to be."
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, caddie. It looks far too old."
Caddy: "It's a long time since we started, sir."
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5-iron?"
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world!" he
Caddy: "I doubt it," replied the caddy. "That would-be too much
of a coincidence.