Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A: In the cemetery.
Q: What do lawyers use as contraceptives?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.
Q: What happened to the lawyer who was thrown out of a saloon?
A: He was disbarred.
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.
Q: If a vampire bites a lawyer, isn't that cannibalism?
Q: What is brown and black and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A doberman.
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A: When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
Q: What is the difference between yogurt and the American Bar Association?
A: Yogurt has culture.
Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Heck, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.